The Rolling Stone That I am

Seasons greeting firstly to everyone. Its been quiet a long time since I put pen to paper or maybe keyboard to blogpost, apologies to the dozens of people who actually were forced to read what I wrote :).

Don't quiet have a reason as to why I haven't "blogged" for about 2 and a half months now. I could chalk out a colossal number of reasons but to be honest I didn't really know as to where my blog was going. Abstained kept away, kept away some more tried to conceal the urge to write, tried to turn off that entity in my neural structure or brain for most that invigorated me to write. Couldn't so here I am same old same old, writing about my neo nostalgic dirt. I am used to it, its my style atleast some people like it.

As I sit at this sorry excuse for a cafe, with the assemblage throwing me back to my school days, i light up my hookah sipping on my cutting chai. Its 10 pm I have not yet gone home from office, dont feel like have zilch to do at home except for my daily indefinite quantity of msn messenger which for once in my lifespan im actually excited to log on too.

Come to think of MSN messenger was never really the 'gods gift to man kind' but hey it works for me or it has over these past few months. I dont know how or what to name her, I dont even know how I got so close to her, not even sure whether i would even get to be with her or even experience her lovingness in the real world. I dont know who she is in reality. I dont quiet think I can name her, cant put together a name for her probably I'd just call her 'she' for now. Its as if I write up a song everytime we talk dont know where our conversation leads but most often than not it leads to a feeling of sanctity and peace. Dont know if it is appropriate to write about her at this stage, havent figured out what we are to each other, just friends? better than friends? companions? lovers? I dont know what to name it? the status still hangs loose but it dosent really matter.

I always hated geography in school that's what she told me. Geography is perhaps the only reason as to why I and she cannot be together for atleast now. But for hopeless romantics like me a word like cannot does not quiet exist in my limited dictionary. I for one was quiet sure that the possibilities of me having a relationship after my first horror show were totalling up to none. Come to think of it, I suck at most things a guy 'should be' in order to be with the ladies. However, with this lady in Dubai its different I can be myself with her, I can talk for hours on end and being romantic just comes naturally to me when I'm with her. I could describe my relationship with her as a the first tender kiss of a relationship, Its like both the beings involved are excited but dont quiet know what to expect from this. The tempo of our conversations fluctuates, being my difficult self comes just naturally to me, problems arise good times are majorly prevalent though, ands that enough of this, she I hope will read this and smile.

The NGO Sandhyalay kindle a sense of emotionalism in me. The one which perhaps I hadnt seen before. I surprise myself as to how dedicated I am towards that place. Just today I sojourned the domiciles of a few of my kids at the ngo. Micro they are but they are coated with love. The kind that we rich folk are jealous of. Being with an NGO brings you face to face with dark, evil and gloomy horror tales. Stories of young mothers been beaten up, abused sexually and mentally, thrown out irreversibly, with little babies to support Ive been in the company and even interacted with these strong individuals. How is the human mind so destructive and evil?
The male intellect sometimes I feel brings out its ugly head once to often It thinks out of impulse rather than reason. Gruesome tales of rape and the victims 9 kilometer walk bruised and battered to file a complaint. Support in any form is what an NGO gives like ours. Kids our age seem to be enthralled at the concept of volunteering and putting on a mask of wanting to give back to the society. Volunteering is not for attention seekers, its a developmental effort to gradually uplift a certain section of the society. I keep hearing some yank about a young India wanting to make a change wanting to bring about a social revolution. As i sit here with a hookah in my hand and a cutting in the other, I see youngsters to tied up in their own little worlds bickering about how filthy mumbai has become or how hurt they have been since their relationship ended or how I sympathise with the underprivileged and how we want to join the NGO but dont cause we too bored on that day. sigh!

Perhaps I will be a little more generous with my posts, or perhaps i will go into 'blogging hibernation' for about another couple of months who knows what I will do. Im too unpredictable even to myself.

Until Next Time